Still not feeling well.

It's been 5 days since chemo and I still feel a little queasy. I'm trying different things to ease my stomach, sipping Gatorade, eating Ritz crackers, my previous stand by: Brown sugar cinnimon Pop tarts.

Everything seems to help, but nothing is knocking it out. I still think I smell the drugs or it's my brain that is reminding me what they smell like and that's what is bothering my stomach.

I have to find new smells. Maybe good ol' Vicks Vapor Rub under my nose. That stink will kill other smells, won't it?

I'm almost thru Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies" a book she wrote about faith. And now Dawn hands me another much smaller book to read called "When Bad Things happen to good People."

The sum of the book is basically this: "God does not cause our misfortunes. Some are caused by bad luck, some are caused by bad people, and some are simply an inevitable consequence of our being human and being mortal, living in a world of inflexible natural laws."

I have not been wrestling with "why me" but the book was recommended to us and Dawn found it on the internet dirt cheap. The author digs into "giving" meaning to our suffering and uses examples from the bible to explore this as well. He emphesizes our need to get over why something has happened and instead ask "what shall I do about it?"

It's a short book, the way I've been reading lately I'll probably be thru it in a week or less.

Some things we've noticed on chemo: My skin is drying out. My hair which is still really short since Dawn last shaved it is still growing, (at least right now) BUT it's growing in in different lengths. It's strange. And today Dawn noticed I had facial hair on my chin and face, the usual places beards grow...however, I had no hair on my upper lip. What would be my moustache was non-existent as well as the spot under my bottom lip. No hair.

I have noticed some foods taste less flavorfull than usual. Some foods are more bland. Nothing is terrible to the taste but my taste buds seems to be losing their ability to grab all they can out of food now. Something as simple as a sugar wafer tastes less sweet these days. It tastes basically the same just not as sweet.

I have no desire for coffee or eggs. The thought of eggs turns my stomach. Instead of coffee I have taken up decaf tea. Regular tea is okay, but I think caffeine bothers me now too. Dawn still has the occasional cup of joe, but we haven't actually brewed a pot in the house in a long time.

I have had strange cravings too. Spaghetti at weird times of night. (like after 11pm), Wendy's Frostys also kind of late. Domino's pizza one night and so far above all things..."Chef Boy Ardee"

Yes the orange sauced beef a roni or mini raviolis, usually not warmed up...right out of the can.

I said they were strange.
I also eat Salsa with Triscuits too. But I did that before Chemo, that's my normal strange.

My weight is about the same. Collectively I have lost 20 lbs since this began but on the weeks like this one when I don't really eat I lose a pound or three but I often rebound the following week when my stomach feels better and I eat like normal.

It works like a roller coaster. But I have always hated roller coasters.