So this is Forty...

After my diagnosis in 2006 at 37 years old I wasn't so sure I would certainly get to 40. Faced with a lot of uncertainty and left to deal with and contemplate my own mortality...I actually doubted it for a few moments.

Faced with the very real possibility that what I had was metastatic Kidney cancer, we left my oncologist's office certain of absolutely nothing. Prior to learning I had cancer at all I didn't doubt I would live a healthy life...we all know this is not the case but until life smacks you like this, you don't prepare yourself to wrestle with "What ifs" and entertain what life is going to look like without you in it...

Before cancer, I knew 40 was obviously on the horizon and I was not happy with my place in life and some of the choices I had made. Lots of decisions cause you to reflect on regrets and missed opportunities. "Shit I'm gonna be 40...what have I done with my life?" actually came out of my mouth...

Then on Nov 4th, 2006 I spotted the bump in my neck. Two weeks after my 37th birthday I was looking at cancer and didn't know it yet.

45 days later I was officially diagnosed and in the fight of my life.

Suddenly 40 was a goal. ....I HAD TO GET TO 40.


Thankfully I have been in Remission since 5/18/2007.

I am approaching my 3rd Cancerversary in Dec this year.


And today is my 40th Birthday.

I'm still not happy with my place in the world and some of the choices I have made. I still reflect on regrets and missed opportunities from time to time. But it doesn't take long to realize why it doesn't affect me in the same way. Cancer screwed things up even more than I did...things could certainly be worse.

But for today, that doesn't matter. I made it.

Cancer got in the way but it didn't stop me.

I'm working on the rest.



Be well.
-Scotty