I am thinking of renaming this blog. It's been about "taking life one day at a time" for a couple of years now. My attitude has changed since I started this blog and I am thinking the blog needs to evolve as well.
I'm NOT sold on this as the new title or what my posts may be about (YET)...but life continues to go on in spite of cancer and treatments and remission. The earth did not stop spinning for me when I needed it to and as my life adjusts to more change in the near future my writing will change as well.
Cancer continues to shape my life, in more ways than one. I hate that!
...
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Some Suggestions...
Don't Smoke!
Listen to Your Body!
Get Regular Check ups!
Find a way to get a CT Scan!
Talk about Family Medical History!
Know your Family Medical History!
AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!
Don't let Cancer sneak up on you...(if you can help it)
Stay ahead of the Curve!
There is NO CURE FOR CANCER! (sure we all know this- but it really means something when you're the one with the cancer)
Do Your Homework and be PREPARED!
From what I can see odds are pretty good YOU (yes, you) WILL get Cancer. And it will suck, but if you catch it early, you have a real fighting chance to beat it. (depending on what cancer it is of course)
Pay Attention!
Be Ready...cause it's out there and it's closing in.
EARLY DETECTION CAN SAVE LIVES!
Listen to Your Body!
Get Regular Check ups!
Find a way to get a CT Scan!
Talk about Family Medical History!
Know your Family Medical History!
AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!!!!
Don't let Cancer sneak up on you...(if you can help it)
Stay ahead of the Curve!
There is NO CURE FOR CANCER! (sure we all know this- but it really means something when you're the one with the cancer)
Do Your Homework and be PREPARED!
From what I can see odds are pretty good YOU (yes, you) WILL get Cancer. And it will suck, but if you catch it early, you have a real fighting chance to beat it. (depending on what cancer it is of course)
Pay Attention!
Be Ready...cause it's out there and it's closing in.
EARLY DETECTION CAN SAVE LIVES!
It helps if you go to the Doctor before it's too late!
I mean it Dammit!
Go. Now.
I mean it Dammit!
Go. Now.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Quote...
"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next."
~Gilda Radner
...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
I'm getting tired of talking about Cancer...
I am so tired of talking and writing about cancer. It has most certainly screwed up most corners of my life. Cancer has destroyed and/or continues to destroy people I know and love. And I want to stand up and DO SOMETHING about it...but even the people who are standing up to it can't make it go away.
So all we are left with is opinions and stories and empathy and scars...emotional and physical.
Cancer will always be a part of my life. I have to get my scans and my check ups and I am reminded on so many levels what other problems exist because of my bout with cancer between
December 2006 and May 2007.
I am beginning to wonder if it's all worth it.
And I don't mean the individual fight to stay alive. But the running uphill pushing a bolder to find a cure...to raise funds and awareness and the relays for life and the books and the information and the web sites with good intentions and yellow wristbands and whatever else people do to fight and eradicate this disease.
We are not winning. Feels more like we are running in place trying to keep cancer occupied until we can figure out how to kill it.
We are exhausting ourselves, fighting only after we are attacked.
I'm tired of being ambushed.
I want to talk about something else.
I want it to go away and never come back...
...
So all we are left with is opinions and stories and empathy and scars...emotional and physical.
Cancer will always be a part of my life. I have to get my scans and my check ups and I am reminded on so many levels what other problems exist because of my bout with cancer between
December 2006 and May 2007.
I am beginning to wonder if it's all worth it.
And I don't mean the individual fight to stay alive. But the running uphill pushing a bolder to find a cure...to raise funds and awareness and the relays for life and the books and the information and the web sites with good intentions and yellow wristbands and whatever else people do to fight and eradicate this disease.
We are not winning. Feels more like we are running in place trying to keep cancer occupied until we can figure out how to kill it.
We are exhausting ourselves, fighting only after we are attacked.
I'm tired of being ambushed.
I want to talk about something else.
I want it to go away and never come back...
...
Doubt part 2
If Peter can doubt...so can I.
There is a story in the bible that recounts Peter and the disciples in a fishing boat when a storm kicks up, in the storm they saw a figure walking towards them on the water. Jesus was walking on the waves. Uncertain it was Jesus- Peter asked him to prove himself and to have Peter come out on the water with him...Jesus responded "come" and Peter almost without thinking climbed out onto the water.
Then a few moments later Peter notices the wind and the waves and he starts to go under...Jesus pulls him up and gets him back in the boat. Peter's faith had failed him...Peter had doubt. Surrounded by the environment, the wind, the rain and the surging waves even with Jesus standing right in front of him Peter's faith faltered.
Perhaps the lesson here is Peter took his eyes off Jesus and noticed his situation. Had he stayed focused on Jesus his faith might not have slipped and he would not realize he was mortal and begin to sink...
My point is Jesus built the church on Peter (who doubted in a big way in this example) and he lived, ate and spoke to the physical Jesus. I can't begin to explain why "blind faith" in the midst of some of the worst crap in my life doesn't work for me.
Peter doubted someone he knew personally and saw with his own eyes everyday. How can I be expected to muster more than the least of Peter's doubt two thousand years later?
Doubt. Faith. Uncertainty. It's all relative.
We don't know, we can't be sure and the bible is full of examples of human failings and misgivings and God still used these people. But wrestling with everyday struggles and believing in things and forces you can't see don't fix the problem at hand. Doubt isn't unbelief, it's uncertainty and they are two completely different things. It's apples and oranges...
Maybe it's just human nature.
I'm human. I'm flawed by design...
Therefore I doubt. It's hard wired from the factory.
...I guess.
There is a story in the bible that recounts Peter and the disciples in a fishing boat when a storm kicks up, in the storm they saw a figure walking towards them on the water. Jesus was walking on the waves. Uncertain it was Jesus- Peter asked him to prove himself and to have Peter come out on the water with him...Jesus responded "come" and Peter almost without thinking climbed out onto the water.
Then a few moments later Peter notices the wind and the waves and he starts to go under...Jesus pulls him up and gets him back in the boat. Peter's faith had failed him...Peter had doubt. Surrounded by the environment, the wind, the rain and the surging waves even with Jesus standing right in front of him Peter's faith faltered.
Perhaps the lesson here is Peter took his eyes off Jesus and noticed his situation. Had he stayed focused on Jesus his faith might not have slipped and he would not realize he was mortal and begin to sink...
My point is Jesus built the church on Peter (who doubted in a big way in this example) and he lived, ate and spoke to the physical Jesus. I can't begin to explain why "blind faith" in the midst of some of the worst crap in my life doesn't work for me.
Peter doubted someone he knew personally and saw with his own eyes everyday. How can I be expected to muster more than the least of Peter's doubt two thousand years later?
Doubt. Faith. Uncertainty. It's all relative.
We don't know, we can't be sure and the bible is full of examples of human failings and misgivings and God still used these people. But wrestling with everyday struggles and believing in things and forces you can't see don't fix the problem at hand. Doubt isn't unbelief, it's uncertainty and they are two completely different things. It's apples and oranges...
Maybe it's just human nature.
I'm human. I'm flawed by design...
Therefore I doubt. It's hard wired from the factory.
...I guess.
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